Oh I lied....ITS MORE!!!

HOLY COW....We finally got the final numbers from Creighton Financial Aid. After getting awarded all we could from the government on our own, the final numbers of how short we are have finally come in. Are you ready.....oh yes and don't forget the tuition HIKE....we are short $22,950.00 for the year, meaning we are a little over 7K short each of the three semesters. HOLY COW!!! Some of these Jesuits ought to be ashamed of themselves taking these vow of poverty things, then charging or should I say robbing these poor students blind. I've seen what these "fathers" have in their private offices. I have had two of them as instructors here on campus, and they are all too happy to show you their "stuff". On of them had over 700K dollars worth of photography equipment in his office, and his own private gym equipment (might I add top of the line) and he drives a Hummer. Yah....vow of poverty my rear end. All of this graciously provided by the monies from the students Im sure. You can't tell me that teaching two photography classes a week pays for all of that. If it does...SIGN ME UP!!! Oh wait I can't do that either...Father Schlegal has imposed a hiring freeze, and raise freeze. Go figure.

Well I'm still fasting and praying, however I am no closer to finding a solution to our problem. Even if I sold our Van and started taking public transportation with the kids, and sold everything in our home, we would not even get close to helping pay for just one semester. Ive put in over 45 different applications for employment all with no luck because of the hours I haveto be available for my kids to pick them up from school or drop them off to school. I had a couple offers but I would have had to not pick up the kids from school, or be there for them at all the rest of the day. I would never see them at all, and then Will would be stranded at school as well. It just is not looking good at all. I guess I am just going to haveto eat my pride, and get ready to crawl to relatives. I wanted to do this on my own, I want to provide for my family myself, I feel so stupid, and little when I haveto go to someone else and ask for help. Plus it puts a strain on our relationship for whomever I ask, and I feel unworthy to be around them after asking for help. However I guess in this situation I have done all I can on our own, gone to all the agencies I can, been rejected by all I can be, and I guess now it's time to break down my pride, and crawl to others. It's not that I don't love my extended family...I do, I really do. Thats why I feel like such a failure when I haveto go ask them for help. But now if I don't, we will not finish graduate school, and be in worse conditions than we are now. We will have hundreds of dollars of debt come to us with no way of repaying it, and we would be on housing and food stamps the rest of our lives, and have nothing to show for these past six years of sacrifice. I guess the Lord is trying to teach me humility. What a HARD lesson. I don't like it.

OK A little too harsh...Sorry

OK. I guess I was just a little harsh in my last post. I guess I should be grateful for my kids, and family, and my husband who is so willing to work hard and get good grades to go through Pharmacy school. I guess I should continue to pray and fast as to where this is going to come from. I should count my blessings. I don't think the Lord got us this far, and has helped our little family these last 6 years in school just to leave us hanging now. Somehow he will provide a way. I hope. Faith Amber....Faith Amber!!!!

I HATE MONEY!!

I am so mad right now at Creighton. They accept you, you go through school work your you know what off to get good grades, and then they tell you "oh by the way your last year now is not just two semesters, its 3, and each semester will cost you a little over 17000 US Dollars, but we are only going to give you student loans again for two semesters, you haveto come up with the rest." Yah ok, and how do we do that. Our credit is crap, I have a job that I can not get any extra hours anymore, AND I just found out today that there will be NO raises either because of the hiring and job freeze Father Schlegal imposed at Creighton...yet he has a tanning bed in his office. I am trying to take care of three kids, myself, my husband, and now this. I asked them if they had anything for students in our situation. Wanna know what they said..."we usually have about three or four students who wash out of the program this last year because they couldn't pay for it." Are your freaking serious! You will let them work their tushies off only to kick them out and not work with them financially to graduate especially this close to graduation. I AM PISSED right now. I can't believe there is nothing there for students in our situation except to wash out. That's not fair to Will. SO I have no clue where to go from here. I have tried scholarships, I am going to school so I can take out loans to help pay for his tuition, I have looked for even more work for the last four weeks with nothing available...even flipping burgers doesn't need help right now, I am at my wits end. GRRRRRRRR!!

Green - Green - Green!!

HAPPY GREEN DAY!! Well early. I have classes on Tuesday evening, so we decided to do our St. Patricks Day meals today. So with a full bottle of green food coloring, and some imagination, we had a fun day. We also went to the Rose Theater to see a plat called "Cajun, Little Red Riding Hood". It was very funny with an alligator instead of a wolf, and Gumbo instead of Chicken soup for the grandma, and living in the Bayou and going down the river to grandma's house, and running into Mardi Gras and all. It was really fun and cute.


So for breakfast we had Green Eggs and Ham with Homemade green toast and green milk. For Lunch we had green nachos with green pear applesauce and green cookies with more green milk. And for dinner we had green mashed potatoes, Lima beans, green bread, green gravy and chicken cordon bleu's. Then for dessert we had green refrigerated cheesecake. And to drink we had green colored white grape juice. Overall the kids had a blast, and it was nice to get into a somewhat normal routine. Enjoy the pics!! Oh yah, and today got to 45 degrees, which was nice, and guess what tomorrow will be warmer, and Monday it is supposed to be 72 degrees!!! YAH!!

Green Eggs and Ham with homemade green bread and green milk.

FREEEEEZZZZZZIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!!!

OK, so where is this thing called "Spring"? We are supposedto be on "Spring Break". Yah, with O degree weather yesterday, and only 15 degrees today, it is freezing. Way to cold to go outside. I feel bad that my mother in law had to move during this cold snap. It was so nice the day before on Monday when it was 57 degrees. Then all of a sudden it drops to zero and then a high today of 15. NOT COOL. THIS IS A MEAN TRICK!! But the weather says that it should be about 45 degrees tomorrow, so hopefully things will get better. Maybe this weekend it will be nice enuf to go to the zoo. Here are some pics of the kids enjoying outside on Monday after school.

Moving on...

Well I have decided that I am going to move on. Thank you to all who have given thoughts to me and kept us in your prayers. We have just had our share of stuff dealt to us. Hopefully we are on the downside of bad things, and are in for some good things to happen soon. I am just going to move on with life, and go with whatever may come. I'm tired of feeling bad, and I'm sure my kids are aching to get back a routine and back to normal family life. So since this week Will and I have school off, when we get the kids from their classes we will be taking them to the zoo, and some other fun places. Wills mom and all of us will just have to grin and bear it for one year, and then all of this can hopefully go away, and never be spoken of again. For now I need to concentrate on my little ones, and as long as we have a roof over our heads, and I can keep it as clean as I can, then I guess the other stuff can just be imagined away. I'm looking forward to some fun outdoors time. I hate winter. Just like my mom wrote on her photo blog. She hates winter too. I think all of us hate winter at one point or another. Well, I am off to unpack my camera, and take it out of the house for some fun times. I will post some pics in a few days of our adventures.

Wishful...

Well, today is sort of a downer post. So if you don't want to read that's fine. If this is supposed to be like my journal, then I guess this is as good as any place to write. I am just so tired, and down. I am tired of this housing fiasco. The people that the Landlord sends over are robbing him blind since he has so many properties to care for, he cant watch his people. This lady is a "professional" painter and house cleaner. I saw what she said took her "all day" to do, and it would have taken me two hours to do, and a much better job might I add if I did it. I am just so embarrassed for myself when Will's mom comes next week. The upstairs is just not looking good, and I wanted to make some curtains and such to cover the windows and make the place look nice. Problem is I have spent so much money on repairs and fixing up our part of the house, and paying for showers, and laundry and such that I am completely tapped out. I have nothing. I just cry at nights because I am so embarrassed by the place we live in, and how we have had to live for the last week and a half. I feel bad for my kids, and for Will. All of us are crabby and tired and are out of our routines, and I can't seem to snap anything back into place. I feel like I am on a ship that is sinking and I can't get off. Nothing is going right, and yes we have a week off of school for spring break, but I still have to work, which thank my lucky stars I still have, and we have no money to do anything fun. It is just so hard to see my kids go without right now. I'm tired of living on so little (if you call it living). Anyway, I just hope that we can get this house put in shape and livable for the next year. It is only for a year. I think I can do it. I've just never had to live in such a horrible house that is being held together with what seems like duct tape. Maybe if the termites stop holding hands the entire house will fall down. The landlord even made a joke or I hope it was a joke. He suggested that we buy this property from him. I told him we were going back to Utah, and that is wasn't a possibility at all. He seemed a little down for a second as if I just gave him bad news. I am so glad we didn't buy a piece of garbage like this, or I would be jumping off the roof or setting the place on fire first chance I got. No way will I ever live in a dump like this again. This is only and I stress ONLY because we are on section 8 housing that we have to live like this. Anyway, sorry to be so down, but I needed a place to vent, and I guess this was it. Thanks for listening.