HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!

I thought I would write about the things I am thankful for over this last year. I also thought I would give you a glimpse into our Thanksgiving. This is a long post that will reminisce, and show you my thinking on a holiday without extended family around me.

First off, I got up this morning to three little kids jumping on myself and Will saying "Wake up mommy it's turkey day, and we want to eat turkey!". You could have sworn I never fed them anything and they were starving, or that it was Christmas morning, and they had presents they needed to open. At any rate, they were really excited. So I reluctantly got up. Dad knows how hard it is for me to get up in the mornings. He used to call to Tiera and I in the mornings to wake us for school. Tiera would pop right up and get ready while I would continue to lay in bed "resting my eyes" till I heard dad's shower stop, then I knew I better get out of bed, or I would have a cranky dad waking me up because I didn't get up the first time. Anyway, I got up. No more getting up to the smell of Turkey in the air like when I was younger. This time I was the one who had to make the turkey. Guess that's what happens when you grow up.

This year we tried something totally different with our turkey. For the last few years I have used my crock pot for the turkey, and only did a breast. However this year we were given a whole turkey, and I decided to brine it two days ahead of time. The kids really loved helping me do this. They also got to touch the "Naked Turkey" as Nessie called it. They thought it was cold, squishy, gross, yucky, eewwww, and other words that they all used to describe the cold raw turkey. So they were excited to see the turkey come out of it's "bath time".

Here the dog decided he needed to check on the turkey as well. Suprised he got that close!!

I then proceeded to make red jello, and put the bird into the oven. I then made the green bean casserole and put it into the fridge. While all of that was done, I started to make Mom's homemade rolls in my bosh. I love that thing. I have made homemade pizza, rolls, bread, cookies and so many other items in the thing over this last few weeks. It's so great!!

Anyway, now things have settled while I wait for the roll dough to rise, and then I will form the little faux crescents that Mom always made growing up, and let them rise again before cooking. The kids call them "grandma rolls". I think it is so cute that they remember this from my Mom. I know Tyler and Dalin and Jaron would always get to sample the rolls before the dinner to make sure they tasted ok. I think it was just a plot to get the most rolls. Mom makes great rolls. Although every year she would say "They just didn't turn out for some reason", and every year there would be a fight as to who got to eat the last roll. Obviously Mom made them just fine.

Anyway, we are now just sitting down to go play a game together, so I will write more later today.......Well I'm back, and boy the turkey was yummy. All the kids ate lots of it. I think we only have enuf leftovers for one day. That's ok though. Everything was just great.

After we prayed on the food each of us took turns to say what we were thankful for this year. There was a lot of "I'm thankful for this food", but there was also thankfulness for the gospel, for Jesus Christ, for Gavin, for family, and so on. It was really nice to see that my kids could think of the things they were thankful for.

The dog I'm sure was thankful for the fact that we all hate the dark meat, so he got a full turkey leg in his dog dish. So he was very happy with that. Now the kids are tired. We all took a nap right after dinner. All of us were tired. Surprised us all, but I guess that is the traditional thing to do is to fall asleep after dinner. Anyway, here are some pictures. Notice the traditional missing taster from the rolls. The kids fought over who got to taste it, so we had to split it up three ways. Yep they were just like moms. Took me back. I really miss my family. I can't wait till we are done with school. I wish I could be closer to them, or at least have enuf money to visit them on the holidays.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving. And for those of you getting up early to shop tomorrow...good luck to you. I will be thinking of you from the comforts of my nice warm bed. I never have been the crazy kind to go shopping so early on the day after Thanksgiving. Happy Holidays!!

Where has it come from?

Well, I was talking to Will the other day, and in mid sentence he said "Holy Cow Amber, look at em all". I said look at what? He then proceeded to point out how grey my hair has gotten over the last few years. Especially since I have stopped coloring my hair. I guess it is just time to let my life show. These aren't just grey hairs, they are the story of my life. Each one represents different things in my life. One is for Sabrina, and the joys and hardship she brings to my life. The lessons I have had to learn, the laughter I have shared with her, and the tears I have shed. She is my little girl who has given me so much, and has helped me grow. These grey hairs are like medals of honor from her. A few more grey hairs are from Vanessa. She has taught me so much. She has taught me that it is ok to laugh at yourself, and that it is ok for "big girls to cry". Those grey hairs I will treasure. More grey hairs come from Isaac, and the worry I have felt in the ER at nights, or during surgeries he has had. He has taught me the power of prayer. Those grey hairs were earned for every day I drove back and forth from the NICU unit for the very first two months of his life worrying if he was going to make it, and survive. More grey hairs are from late nights cuddling him with nightmares and kissing him. Some other grey hairs are from sliding down the hill in a snow sled screaming at the top of our lungs having fun together. All of my grey hairs are each like little medals of honor, and reminders that I am a mom and I do so much for my family. Everyone says that kids give you grey hairs. Well maybe they do, but I know that my kids have given them to me out of love, and want me to wear them proudly. And so I will wear my newly fading hair color with pride.

(Not that I like them, but hey it saves me time and money on having to get highlights in my hair, it already look like I went to get them done---shhhh..that's my secret to my great looking highlights -- my kids!!)

A Change AGAIN!!

OK OK. You are all probably tired of hearing this, but our Phone number will change again next week. I keep looking for the bigger and better deals, and I find them. We will now have a different carrier who will be much cheaper for our phone and long distance needs. Sorry. But when your a student living on very small amounts of money, you tend to go with the lowest bidder for same services. So get ready, cause here is the new number....

(402) 813-2834

It will start working next week I think around Tuesday. Anyway, sorry to do this to you all, but it is how it has to be till we have some decent income to be able to accommodate the rise in costs. I'm sure you all know how that is. Thanks for your patience. We love you all!!

Call us CRAZY!!!

Ok, we may have some hate mail coming our way, or at least idiot mail. I can't believe I am going to say this, let alone we are going to do this, but here goes. Will LOVES to teach. More importantly he loves to teach school, and even more finite he loves to teach SCIENCE!! So...NO don't worry he isn't quitting school, or changing his major. We are ADDING another year to this LONG FREAKING JOURNEY!!! Oh my word. Just shoot me in the head. I can't believe I am going to go through another year of school after already doing 6. That's ok though. I love Will and we are a family, and so we have to stick together. He has decided that he wants to teach at some point in his career, and to do that you MUST MUST MUST have done an Education Residency. SO that is what we are going to do. I want him to be happy, and love what he does when he is away from the family. He will still graduate as a Pharmacist and take the NAPLEX in May of 2010, but then we will continue one more year beyond that while he teaches for a year somewhere. We don't know where yet, but we will be putting in the applications here in the very near future. So, call us crazy, idiots, or smart, but whatever it is, we are doing it as a family. He will be getting a living stipend of half salary of a pharmacist while doing this, and then he would be able to work part time if he decided to on the weekends as a Staff Pharmacist somewhere, and so we will have a little income, just not the FULL income till the year 2011. But hey he is good at it, and it is important to love what you do. SO here we go full steam ahead for another year of school per say!! Wish him luck!!

What Not To Do.

Well, I'm home, and doing much better. I'm not sure who has heard what, and so I will tell it here so everyone is on the same page. All week last week I had been very tired despite getting to bed quite early at 9:30 to 10pm. (Trust me that's early compared to my usual midnight or later) Then Will wasn't feeling well on Sunday and had the chills and such. Well then I got the chills Monday and Tuesday, and just felt a little achy all over. SO I thought I would call in to work, and take the day off on Wednesday. Darn good thing I did. I woke up, and felt just fine. Got the kids dressed and ready fr school and took them. I then got home, and put away a load of laundry, and put another load in. I then came upstairs, and sat down for a min. since I felt a little light headed. I then had to go to the bathroom, so I figured I would do that, and then make myself some breakfast. I sat down, did my business, and then my chest got tight, I got the hot flash of all hot flashes, and then my head started to spin. Next thing I know is I'm being licked to death by our German Shepherd Rommel as I'm now lying on the floor with all my legs and arms tingling and feeling so heavy. I have no clue how long I was passed out for, but I guess it was a little bit. SO I went to get up, and send Will an Email telling him to come home. I then passed out again. After coming to again, I figured it was a bad idea to stand, so I pulled my laptop to the floor, and managed to Email Will. He came home to find me sprawled on the floor again, phone in hand, and not really coherent. So he took me to the ER. They did some tests, gave me fluid and was going to send me home on Iron pills, since my hemoglobin and iron was really low. I was still light headed, and couldn't stand for longer than a few seconds before I wanted to pass out again. But the Dr's assured me that after a rest, and a few Iron pills I'd be ok. By this time we had spent all morning and afternoon in the ER. Will had to go pick up the kids from school. While he was doing that I was being discharged. The Nurse told me I could wait in the room till Will got back so he could help me to the car. I said ok. I then had to go to the bathroom, since they just pumped me full of two bags of saline. Again I had another black out session. This time I pulled the emergency cord as I was falling to the floor. The Dr's came in looked at me, then looked at the toilet, and told me I was going nowhere but the ICU. Apparently there was blood everywhere. So they admitted me to ICU, checked my blood levels again, and found that instead of being at a 8.1 hemoglobin count, I was now at a 7.1. Just for you all who don't know what the numbers mean, since I didn't, normal is about an 11-12, anything under an 8 they like to do transfusions. SO I immediately got two blood transfusions, and was still continuously bleeding from places I shouldn't be bleeding. The Dr's decided that with as much blood as I have lost, and with the transfusions not bringing it up as much as they would like, they put me under anaesthesia and did an endoscopy. Nothing, except a small little ulcer where my stoma is (where my new stomach from the gastric bypass surgery and my intestine was connected). But the ulcer they felt didn't account for so much blood. So they decided to immediately start me on a flush, and a few hours later did a colonoscopy. Laying in my hospital bed waiting to be put under again to have the procedure done, I felt like I shouldn't have been there. All the other patients going in and coming out were all older than 70. I looked way out of place. Anyway, they found nothing there either. I was clean. So at this point it's been 48 hours, and the bleeding has now stopped, or at least my levels had stopped dropping again. SO then they felt I was stable enuf to go to the normal hospital rooms, and so I was moved. The Dr's then decided that I must have been bleeding internally from that ulcer all week, and then it finally all came out, and stopped bleeding. Or at least that's one theory. They really wanted to do another test on me where they "tag" my blood cells and see where they are leaking out, but I had stopped bleeding, so you can't do that test if your not actively bleeding. So anyway they sent me home today with a whole lotta pills and medications to take. My hemoglobin levels are still at a 7.8 and my blood pressure is still stable at about 94/52. I'm just tired, and dizzy at times, but other than that I'm ok. I am now though having to take five different medications for the next six to eight months till my Iron and Hemoglobin levels are back in the normal range. At least that how long the Dr's say it will take. But I am fine, and able to be home with my family again. I really missed them. Will did a great job as a Single Dad and I appreciate him. I'm just grateful it was a bleed instead of a full blown heart attack, which is what I thought it was at first. Good thing I took the day off of work. Could you imagine that happening in the middle of Creighton School (which is where I work). How embarrassing.

I Fell Off....

I fell off the turnip truck, the bike, the wagon, and any other metaphor for falling out of your regiment that you must keep up. I have now officially gained 20 lbs back over this last 6 months. I know what a stupid thing to do. But I have just been so busy...or at least that's the excuse I give myself. I mean this is like my journal, so lets be honest and call a spade a spade. I've been too lazy is what it is. And just like before the surgery I have lost my will power. If I don't stay right on track and do things every day, I loose my focus. I used to weigh myself every morning, and was told to try not to do that. Well then I liked not doing that, so then I would sneak a chip here and there, or nibble on what the kids were eating, or I would just start to let things go little by little. I then would get home from school or a long day with work and the kids, and would look at my machine and say "I'll do it tomorrow, I'm too tired". Well guess what, that day turned into a few days, and then a few months. I can't believe how I have let myself go like this. I could feel my pants getting a little snug, but I just told myself that they would loosen up during the day as I wore them. YAH RIGHT!! Wishful thinking. Anyway I needed to give myself a good long look tonight, and I was appalled. I stepped on that scale and about died. I had started going into what Dr's call the "grazing mode". Where I would eat a little at a time, since I can't eat a large meal at all. I still can't eat an entire cheeseburger, or more than one medium size piece of pizza without getting sick. But I can eat chips and mashed potatoes a little at a time all day long. And that's what I have done. Eat my carbohydrates right onto my hips. Well now what do I do.......I get back onto the horse and follow a "Reset" diet.

Here is the diet. It will help me kick the carbohydrate habit, and get me jump started into weight loss mode again. It will help my metabolism to restart its self. It will also help me get my pouch...that's what us surgery people call our new formed stomachs....back to its tight feeling again and give me the full sensation / sick sensation sooner. On this diet I eat as much of the foods that are on that day as my body will allow. I know it sounds weird, but it really does work the Dr. said. SO here is the plan....

Days One & Two: Liquid Protein low-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding.

Day 3: Soft Protein canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy.

Day 4: Firm Protein ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut.

Day 5: Solid Protein white meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game.

On top of this I will get back to my routine of 45 min of exercise each night except for Sunday night. Hopefully this will get things back to where I should be again. I absolutely refuse to buy new pants when my pants are all just fine from last year and the year before. I do need more sweatshirts, but I refuse to buy anything for myself till I get back on the horse, and use it as a reward. Especially going into the winter months here, and the Holidays, I refuse to gain anymore weight. I didn't work this hard to go back to where I was. SO if you see me eating something bad for me, gently tell me to put it down and back away from the twinkie. ;-) Just kidding...sort of.

I hope by writing this down, that I will mentally get back on track too. Wish me luck. I will keep track of my progress with you all.

AH! I'm a Soccer Mom...Now all I need is the minivan!!

Here is Sabrina during practice. She is actually pretty good, and caught on super fast.

Well, here it is, that day Sabrina has looked forward to for a few weeks. She starts Soccer today. Here she is in her uniform. She looks so cute. It was a little rough. She has never played sports like this before. She is such a good girl, and willing to share everything she has. She always plays nicely with everyone, and makes sure that no one is left out. Well this soccer thing was a little rough on her. The second half of the game she got into it, but not before she had a melt down. She was running up and down the field like she was supposed to to, but she wasn't as aggressive as some of these girls were, and then hung back to let them go at the ball. I had to explain to her that it was ok to get in there, and steal the ball, and kick it between her team. Then every time we would yell out "Great Job Sabrina" or "Way to go Sabrina" when she did something great, she got distracted, and turned to look at us, and then lost her focus. But over all she did a marvelous job, and in the end after a few times on the side, and a big bottle of water, and some encouraging words from her coach, she had a great time, and is ready again for next Saturday.

Before the game, all the kids were practicing on the sidelines with the ball. It was really cute, and all kids had fun. Even Nessie and Isaac had fun cheering on Sabrina. It was nice to see her run and get some exercise.

I am absolutely Mortified!!

OK. Here we go. As most of you all know I am NOT racist. I never have been, and probably never will be. Our family lives in a predominately black neighborhood. Since we have been here, our kids have been beaten up, hurt, name called, and treated with less dignity than they deserve by our neighbor kids of color. As their mother I am protective of them whether it would have been children of any color. Unfortunately all the children doing this to them are of the same color....black. I have very smart children, and they tend to be able to use their reasoning skills and come to conclusions. At one time or another all of them have come to either Will or I and asked us "Why are black people so mean". Of course Will and I try our hardest to tell them that it's not just black children who can be mean, other races are mean as well if they aren't taught correct principals. However this answer never really satisfies them, since their little church friends are white, and very nice. Well you see where this goes.

Any rate, we constantly deal with this race issue with the kids. They are young and can't comprehend that just because your skin is one color doesn't mean that everyone that looks that way, acts that way. So the kids were learning about the elections at school. And they were going to get to vote themselves in the elementary school voting. They were all excited about this. In Vanessa's class the teacher Ms.Colling is great, and Mr. Adams is wonderful. Sabrina had these two teachers last year and loved them. Well, Ms.Colling was teaching the kids that it is a secret vote, and that no one knows what or who you vote for, so you don't have to be afraid of voting for who you want. Well, as the class was quiet, Nessie blurted out "My mommy is voting for McCain cause she says blacks shouldn't be president and they are all bad people."

Oh my gosh. I about died. Will had to get the first ear full from Ms. Collins when he picked up Nessie that evening from school. He explained our situation and that the kids have had issues with kids of color, but he also explained that he was engaged to a woman of color, and that I had dated a few men of color, so neither of us had any issues with people of color. Well needless to say that was ok with her since it was coming from Will, and Nessie said it was me that said these things not Will. Also on a side note, Nessie and one little girl in her class are the only little white kids there, both Ms. Collins and Mr. Adams and the rest of her class are all black. Now can you see what problems this caused. Anyway we sat her down at home and asked her where she heard such a horrid thing, and she said she didn't know. I asked her if she had ever heard mommy or daddy say anything like this before, and she said no. Which by the way was NEVER EVER said in our home not even anything close to that. We then discussed why mom and dad were not voting for Obama, and so on. We explained only the easiest of things for her to understand. Simply put...Obama doesn't want to protect families like ours, and he doesn't protect unborn babies, and that those things make Heavenly Father very sad, and so that's why we should vote for someone who does what God wants us to do. She totally understood that.

Well I took her to class yesterday morning, and made her apologize to Ms. Collins and Mr. Adams she did, and then Ms. Colling asked her where she heard such a thing. Nessie being Nessie said "I don't know". And then she went to sit in her seat. I then turned to Ms. Collins and apologized for any problems and hurt feelings that may have been caused, and she retorted back to me very coldly "Well you should be it caused a lot of hurt feelings". As if I really had said such an inflammatory thing and was just making my daughter lie about it. Needless to say I went back home and cried. Here was such a nice teacher who I had a good relationship with, now being snippy with me, and not understanding that I didn't say these things. Well life goes on, and then today I went to drop off the kids, and sure enuf the principal who usually is cheerful and talkative to me, is now very short and curt with me, but then the next mom walked in behind me and she was all happy and bubbly again. I don't understand it.

A - where did she hear such a horrible thing
B - Why are people so quick to suspect I'm lying after almost three years of being at the school, helping out, and doing 100X's more than any other parent in that school.

I'm seriously trying not to be racist or judgemental, but how could you not waiver on that subject a little when this happens? I feel like I want to pull the kids out of that school, and find a private or predominately white school for them to attend...maybe that will solve it. I just don't know what to do. I'm so embarrassed to show my face there anymore. Any help??

HELP!!

OK, I swear Heavenly Father will not let my music talents go to waste. That's a good thing I guess. As most of you know in our little branch most of us have to hold multiple callings. I am the food storage coordinator, and also the Music Leader/Educator in Relief Society. I have now been called to another calling on top of this. I am now the Branch Musician. Basically I plan all the music that is done and I oversee all the music position in the Branch. I recommend people for music callings in the branch, and I also make sure the music is appropriate for the services, and make sure there is appropriate musicals numbers done in Sacrament meetings and so forth. One of the major assignments I am in charge of, is the Christmas Program for Sacrament meeting. I am to write all the talks, or assign talks, and get all the music done for it as well. This is all overwhelming a little. But with prayer and talent I think I can do this. I just would like your opinion as to what was the most memorable Christmas Sacrament Meeting you ever went to and why did you like it, and what was it that you liked.

I am thinking of having a quartet of women sing "Mary's Lullaby" that is in the children's hymn book and have a gal in our branch who plays the violin beautifully play this with the group. I am also wanting a trio to sing Mary did you know. Then I have a quartet of primary girls to sing "Picture a Christmas" from the kids song book, and then the primary kids to sing away in a manger. But I'm not sure what else to do. I was also thinking of doing the speaking parts from the perspective of the individuals, such as Mary, Joseph, a wise man, a shepherd and so on.

Let me know your ideas. I'd love to get some input. Thanks!!!